Remember
by BasketCase14
Summary: Draco remembers things about Harry that nobody else does. Oneshot. Character death.


Remember :---------:

"I try to remember, I try to forget. But no matter how hard I try, I can't succeed"  
-Me; just a little quote from one of my own songs/poems.

I remember your body. Your hands-the way they'd carress my skin softly. Your stomach-the way your muscles would spasm when I'd splay my hands across your abdomen. Your fingertips-you'd drag them across my jawline and neck slowly, testing how long I'd be able stand it without making a noise.

But most of all, I miss your eyes.

Such beautiful green eyes. I always loved how I could tell when you were looking at me, and when you weren't. And I always loved how you would drag your gaze over my body, bottom to top. You always said you liked to see my face last-save the best for last.

-  
I never said I'd lie in wait forever ----

I remember the stunned look on your face when I suggested we keep up this charade after school was out. But stunned was instantly replaced by shock(isn't that the same thing? I must look that up. You always said shock and stunned were two different things...)which was replaced by happiness. But that dissapeared when you thought of Voldemort. And I remember you turning around to face the dark black walls behind us, now in front of you.

And I remember wrapping my arms around your torso from behind, you leaning back into my embrace without really realizing it. And I had promised that I'd be safe. That I'd protect you and you, in turn, said you would protect me.

Not that I needed it.

You promised...

-  
If I'd died we'd be together ---

...that you wouldn't leave me. All the shit you went through to make sure that our relationship wouldn't get out and into the real world.

The Real World.

We used eachother to escape from the pain of the slaughter. And you told me you loved me.

And then you left...

-  
I can't always just forget him But he could try ----

...and when you returned, you were so cold and emotionless. I wondered what you had seen out there that month. Of course I was already working for the Order, so I was able to lay next to you at night, in the same bed, and watch you go from straight and stiff as a board, to curling up into a tight protective ball.

It hurt.

Oh, how it hurt.

And when I confronted you about, you broke down. And I held, let you soak my best shirt(Can you believe it Harry? I am still as vain as I was then...) but I didn't care.

Weeks went by, months passed in a blink of an eye. Next thing I knew, you were on another mission...

-  
At the end of the world Or the last thing I see ----

...and this time, when you returned, you were near death. I was furious. Furious at you. Furious at Dumbledore. And furious with myself. I never once tried to stop you.

I vowed to do so after you got better.

So when you were released from the hospital, and I told you how I felt, you somehow convinced me that you were fine; it was an accident waiting to happen; that you didn't do it for Dumbledore, but-

"I'm doing it for you, Draco"

-that there were more important people out there for you to do this for. And I went along with it.

But when you left the next time, I had horrible nightmares the whole time you were gone...

-  
You are never coming hone(never coming home)  
Could I? Should I?  
----

..and when you returned, looking any but worse for wear, I longed to tell you how I loved you, that you meant everything to me. That I'd die for you. But you left for the five hour Order meeting. Apprently, Dumbledore had decided to declare war. You had found Voldemorts hide-out.

We prepared for over three months, your godfather and that damn boyfriend of his, Lupin, checking up on the hide-out every few days to make sure he hadn't left.

The night before we went out into battle, we made love. We didn't have sex. We didn't fuck. We made love. Remember how I always hated that definition of our relationship? I always wanted to fuck, never "make love."

But, I remember that night as if it were yesterday. I was close to tears; I knew this was the last battle we would ever have. You understood. You didn't push it.

And then I said it. And I asked you.

And you complied, saying-

"Please, Harry, I love you."

Shocked gaze, emerald eyes, staring back at me.

I shifted closer towards you, and you opened your mouth. Maybe to say something. But I got it out first.

"Please, Harry? Make love to me. Show me you love me..."

"-yes, Draco"

My vision of you is still blurry around the edges. You whispered it once, twice, three times, before I let the tears fall. You licked them away, as if you were a dog.

"Harry"

I remember the odd sob that came from me when I said your name. Maybe it was just my foggy brain, but I thought I felt your body shake, long before your climax hit you. And myabe it was just my mind playing tricks on me, but I thought I heard you say goodbye. And maybe...just maybe...I thought I felt a warm wetness on my neck, where you had hidden your head. Maybe you were crying. But I'm not sure.

I had never cried before then.

-  
And all the things you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever ever-  
----

We left early the next morning. The ambush was a total mishap, right from the start. I only got about two feet from you when the first Auror was hit with the killing curse.

I remember the look on your face, then too. The Auror had been Mad Eye. Good old Mad Eye, hit with the killing curse? The first casualty? How could it be?

But it happened.

In the beginning, I remember fighting you side-by-side. Later, though, I looked around among the blood soaked grounds and the spells flying past and across and over my head, and you were gone. Just like that. One minute you were holding onto my shirt, the next, gone.

I continued on, though. I knew you'd be safe; you were stronger than you let on.

I was wrong however.

Yes, you killed that damn bastard of a lunatic(Voldemort), but you suffered the consequences also-

-  
-Ever. Get the feeling you're never alone ----

-You were dying when I found you.

-  
And I remember now ----

I couldn't believe it. You, the-

-  
At the top of my lungs in my arms-  
----

Fucking-Boy-Who-Lived. The boy whom I loved.

I cried and you...you just looked at me peacefully. You said you couldn't see properly, that I needed to-

"Take off my glasses, Draco..."

Coughed, spluttered, turned over to your side and coughed up blood. You spit it out, you gagged, and I soothed you. Your breathing was ragged.

I took them off.

You smiled then, and I felt myself melt, and I held you close. Voldemort lay some feet away, blood gushing from all extremities. I didn't know what spell you used, but I didn't care.

I told you that we could finally come out into the open. I told you that we could live together without the fear of someone coming to kill you or me.

And still, you didn't say anything. Just stared at me. I shook you a bit, and you coughed. I could barely feel you begin to shake. You were so cold.  
You told me so, and I cast a warming spell on your body. But you just shook harder, and tried to heal your wounds, but I think they were all internal. I was weak as it was already, though, so I think the only thing that I really healed was your little cold sore that had began to appear the last few days.

You shook your head lightly, and I pushed your hair out of your eyes. I wanted to see them one last time. I felt wetness, and looked at my fingers, only to see-

"Harry, you're bleeding..."

You coughed, and I heard death rattling around in your lungs.

You smiled, and your teeth weren't white; they were red. I sat you up, only to have you throw up blood. Instead of cleaning it up, I instead moved away with you in my arms, letting you take deep breaths.

A few seconds later, though, you grasped my shirt, and shuddered violently. And I knew you were leaving for good this time.So, I whispered in your ear as I cradled you-

"I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you"

And you told me the same thing.

-  
He dies. He dies-  
----

And now I sit here. In your bedroom at the Orders headquarters remembering as you practically squashed me when we first came to the Order together. We had time off. I knew how you wanted to spend it.

-  
At the end of the world or the last thing I see-  
----

You aren't ever coming home again. I want to die and be with you...but somehow I know you would be angry with me.

"I'm doing it for you, Draco"

I loved you so much.

-  
You are never coming home(never coming home)  
Could I? Should I?  
And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever going to haunt me Never coming home(never coming home)  
Could I? Should I?  
And all the wounds that are ever going to scar me For all the ghosts that are never going to catch me-  
----

And I still do.

-  
If I fall If I fall Down.  
----

"Finis" 


End file.
